How It Feels To Be Worse At Gaming Than My Wife

My marriage is very strong. I mean so strong that if I had to put a name to it, I'd call it “Vibranium”. It’s this way because we have honed it for years and put many, many rules that we relentlessly impose upon ourselves. And you want to know why I am so confident? Because for as long as I can recall, I have been getting pwn'd by her at gaming (among other things).

Here is my side of the story of how it feels to suck in comparison to your loving spouse. 

Our loving but yet competitive relationship with gaming started many years ago when we were kids. My older brother used to force me to play Mortal Kombat with him despite how many nightmares it gave me in trade for me being able to sleep in his room whenever I was having a bad night and other child perks, like not having to make him sandwiches (brother of the year am I right?). So when I met Artura and we found out we had a mutual love for gaming, it occurred to me that since my older brother forced me to play Mortal Kombat with him all the time, I might be able to spring a surprise butt-kicking on her in it!

And I did! ... at first. 

 

You see, Artura has this uncanny ability to get disgustingly good at games quickly. I was unaware of that at this point, so when it started off well I felt pretty good and big. I was so proud that I had the skills to beat her in the battles. Heck, you could even say I was grateful to my brother now; I knew that I had been training my whole life for this. But then quickly she started killing me really freaking hard over and over, and suddenly beating her became actually impossible. It was so ridiculous that I had been fighting my brother for who knows how long and still couldn't really pull off a lot of abilities on purpose, but she had already caught on.

She won without spamming.

That was fine. I took my broken pride and moved on to other, more cooperative games. 

That was all well and good, we played everything together—cooperative or single-player—much as we have done since we got married.. And then the peace broke once again the second we decided to try Mario Party. I mean, no one can suck at a Mario game… right? I did. Me. I almost banished myself from my family thinking I had dishonoured our gaming spirit when I started losing every single minigame except one or another whenever the NPC on her team actually helped me by sabotaging her. 

Yes, Koopa, go do my bidding.

As we grew older we kind of stopped playing those types of games in favour of ones with more storyline or mechanics (and totally not because I was done getting rekt). That is, until the actual bane of my existence— League of Legends.

My wife is usually the one to venture out and bring new games into my life. By the time League of Legends started getting traction, I had already begun to trust my wife in her instincts of gaming. She'd sometimes bring games like Minecraft to the table that initially sounded or looked bad, but ended up being amazing games. So when she told me to play League of Legends I listened—despite loathing the graphics.

Oh boy, what an absolute behemoth of a challenge it was for me to not quit every other day. It was the very first time I had ever played something competitive and online so it was absolutely terrifying. No joke, the first year or so of playing it we only played customs together because I couldn't bring myself to join her in the actual PvP rounds. 

By the time I finally let go of that fear and tried the game against actual people I wasn't all that good still, whilst she, who had been practising against them for months now, was amazing. 

Warchief Snorlax is me and my wife? Rumpelstiltskin.

I know I joke a lot about almost disowning myself from my family because of my lack of skills, but League of Legends really did make me feel like actual trash, and opened my eyes to see beyond just PvP games and realise my wife is better than me at every game we play. 

It became a habit of mine to just give up and pass the controller onto her without really giving it my all because I would just get embarrassed by the fact that she was sitting there backseat gaming and watching me die over and over. Miss the jump here, fall off the cliff over there, forget to block... It was discouraging. She didn't like seeing me give up like that so she once told me, mostly as a joke but still as great advice, "think of us as a team". I mean sure, she was jokingly flaming me by saying I was only good as support—much like Patroclus to Achilles—but still!

I don't know what makes your ability to play games be something so important and controlling. I know it's not just me because people get angry at freaking board games! But, after seeing that I wanted to stop competing against her, my wife said something that really saved my confidence in gaming. She told me that she was proud that even though I failed often I still tried until I would get it. She made me see the beauty in having to hone your skills at a game because oftentimes she will beat a game way quicker and way easier than me, leaving her with a feeling of dissatisfaction while I continue grinding at the game trying to even beat it. 

One such example is Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. 

Yes, these are indeed my Sekiro game credits. I also have pics of every boss!

I have struggled a lot with anxiety and through that, I have found just how much I love persevering through hardships and actually taking on challenges. My wife suggested Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice before but I had been too much of a coward to try it until she read me an article about a guy that took actual months to finish it. I got very excited at the prospect of getting to that ending and being able to say I had finished it, even if it took me months or years. Heck, I actually looked forward to it taking a long time to beat just because it was that much more inspiring for me to struggle, so I took up the challenge.

It didn't take me months; it took me (spoiler alert) 58 hours to beat. I took my time and I practised and practised the Mikiri Counter over and over and over until my hands were cramped. I got stuck on the penultimate boss of the game until my wife suggested I try using the keyboard. So then I had to practise on the keyboard until I actually beat him. Despite that, it took her only around 20 hours more to complete the game 100%. Every single achievement. She even got to NG+7. Seven. 

All I did was finish the game and that's it. I wanted to continue but I am really bad at playing games for such an extended time, so I decided to leave it there. However, if I decided to complete Sekiro, I'd ultimately have more hours to cherish it. What stopped me was that I struggle to play the same game for so long. I'm still excited to return to it again and finish it as she did! 

It was thanks to Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice that I finally and wholly appreciated being the worse one at videogames. Plus, who wouldn't love having a human cheat as a spouse?